Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Basic Instincts

Whenever I look at people (including myself), I see so much pretense; so much distance from who and what we truly are on the inside; there is such a big difference between what we feel and what we express, its astounding, sad, funny; ofcourse at different times. But more than anything, its a turn off to see it. Hence, its quite beautiful to see the natural or basic or instinctive side of us. Which to our credit we do exhibit (even in this world driven by consumerism). I know so, from myself, more than anyone else. Its strange, its almost like I am often disgusted with myself, yet am consious enough to rectify myself at times. Quite a contradiction.

I personally believe, the basic human desires bring out our true nature. Being physically pushed to our limits, be it in terms of hunger, sex, security or survival; I think our fundamental nature is expressed. Since it is rare, I find a certain beauty in it. My interests, likes and dislikes are inherintly related to this perception.

This brings me to a person who has inspired me ever since I have known him to exist beyond a famous personality. Still I have never met him and hence percieve everything about him via the not so credible medium of media. His personality, actions etc that I percieve have inspired me no ends. All this because, I think he is, in our times an expression of something which we as humans, basically are. This person is Michael Schumacher. It saddens me that he announced his retirement. I felt some sadness for the few seconds that followed after he announced the same. I wondered where I will find motivation. Comments like, "I still feel goosebumbs when I put my vizor down"; "I am as excited as ever to test the new car"; "I race because I love to"; "I am here to stay on top, I dont want to be a medium driver"; actions like the infamous Monaco parking incident; Schumacher Hill collision in 1994 and Schumacher Villeneuve collision in 1997 etc to me express him as a two year child who feels happy every time you bring him a toy and who is not introduced to concept of sharing an extra chocolate he might have. Schumacher to me is as raw as that; as natural as that. Its almost like he has not been introduced to the concept of sharing his 'chocolate' by socially driven parents. He wants everything and will do anything to get it. You can notice the training of attending press conferences and the doctored sentences in them. But when he is racing, in a car going flat out through Eau Rouge at 200 plus mph; thats the true Schumacher; a relentless baby who wants it all; a human in its basic elements fighting for basic desires (survival of the fittest in this case).

Footballers when they celebrate a tear their jerseys, scream, dont know where to run, dance, kiss, hug etc. They almost dont know what to do. The scene after a goal reminds me of a bunch of wild animal herd celebrating victory in a battle of survival. That is raw, untempered. Schumis expression in 200 Suzuka after crossing the finish line of zig-zagging the car for about 100m reminded me of that. He didnt know how to express it. And he was obviously emotional then. His famous jump on the top step of the podium. I am sure, it wasnt a planned jump first time round. Its his expression of his emotions. Above the rest.

Mind you I am not defending his actions nor justifying them by saying they are human and hence accept them. All I am expressing is a perspective. Sportsmanship, fairness is a concept introduced by modern man. This was foreign to our earlier generations; when we began to evolve and were still struggling for basic desires. In fact, as expressed in the analogy above, to me, a raw untempered human baby still embodies the same instincts, same desires and thus expresses them in analogous actions.

We all strive for that, in so many aspects of our lives; but are afraid of being caught being politically incorrect. Ah well, its good; coz if it were common; Schumi wouldnt have been rare.

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